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Kerrie blogs about her experience with anxiety and how it impacted dating and life with her boyfriend.
I don't remember a time when I haven't obsessed over the worst possible outcome of every situation I've been in. The most painful part of it is, there's a place in the back of your mind that's totally rational and it tells you you're being ridiculous - but it can't shout loud enough.
The simplest of tasks, such as getting on a bus, can consume me with dread.
I had never been able to open myself up, completely, to anyone. I've actively and totally avoided friendships. Relationships were totally out of the question.
Last September I began speaking to someone and, for once, it didn't make me nervous.
I didn't feel like my every word would be scrutinised. My anxiety just didn't switch on. I was entirely comfortable.
It was a bizarre, alien feeling. Much of my social anxiety revolves around men. I feel ever so slightly more relaxed in the presence of women. Perhaps it's a maternal thing, I don't know. So for this person who made me feel secure to be a male was frankly crazy.
I decided I needed to tell him about my anxiety troubles before I met him. In fact, it wasn't a decision, it was a necessity. I had to explain why it took me two months to muster the courage to go on a date with him.
Posted on: 23/05/2016 Categories: Charity News
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